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HI.

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» archives »November 2008 »December 2008 »February 2009 »March 2009 »April 2009 »May 2009 »June 2009 »October 2009 »April 2010

I do not want to love him anymore.



It's hard. Reaaally hard. I promised that I would change the infatuation thingo subject of mine, but it's really haard. It's the only thing I've been noticing the whole day. And Mon Dieu! I turned into this hideous green-eyed monster and my moodswing attacked me again and I cried in front of my guy seatmate! It's because I got jealous and PMSing. Haha.



My guy seatmate went all, "Oh? Okay ka lang? Bakit ka ba badtrip?" And I can't help it but to tell him EVERYTHING. And then I cried. After that, I made him swear thatt he wouldn't tell anybody. And if he slipped-- well, he said he wouldn't.



I got jealous because my friend, a girl, is closer to him than I do. They talk about stuff that I couldn't relate to. They're the only ones who understand each other when I'm with them. They laugh at things I couldn't seem to get. They seem to be comfortable with each other.



When he's with me, it's only because he wants to ask why I'm depressed-looking, what's wrong, if he could have the answers to the assignment. And I blindly obey him. Tomorrow would be different (here we go again). I'll try, but I can't promise myself anything. I don't want to talk about him anymore! I don't want to think or even have my heartbeat stop for a second just because we had eye contact! Can't I understand that?


Je ne veux vous aimer plus.





P.S. I need to learn how to do an overhand serve and spike, and trying to finish all the drills our P.E. teacher wants us to do. Dammit! I can't do VOLLEYBALL!