I rarely use this blog.
:D
They Stole My Daydream.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009 7:17 PM
There is no word that can describe what I am feeling today, tonight.Confused is possible, but I'm more than that.You see, when we were at the cafeteria, everything was alright. And then I saw her, my object of infatuation's Significant Other laughing, seeming so happy, blissfully laughing with...As we walked to get out of the cafeteria, I saw him, with her, laughing with her without a drop of a care in the world. Mostly, he just laughs at me, not with me. And that scene was so perfect, so surreal that you would want to take a picture of them. The light was right, the blur of the people behind them, the love in their eyes. And I can't help it but feel sorry for myself, feel pity and degrade myself again for being not as attractive, not as smart and most of all, not as interesting.I didn't know what came over me but I walked away, briskly, and then I felt my eyes water. I couldn't help it, I didn't even know at that moment why. And then I realized, to him I'm just a friend, sometimes I feel that I'm just an acquaintance. Sometimes he makes me laugh, other times he wants to make me cry. And I think that I'm his secretary, always doing the "artist's only" things, always answering his homework, always trying to connect to him, his thoughts, even though I can't.Other times, I try my hardest to forget him, mainly because he's just an infatuation and I wouldn't get any good from him. And it hurts so much. It's too painful for me. But I can't.I just can't.It came to my mind that maybe I just don't have a crush on him anymore. Maybe I love him.There's still hope for another year. But I have my doubts, my pessimism. I don't want regrets, that's why I'm still waiting, hoping. But I don't know what will be the result. What I do know is that there is always regret. So why would I even bother? Because sometimes I want my daydreams to come true. I want my hopes to be fulfilled. But then I sigh and I sigh and I sigh. And then I cry.Who am I kidding, right? :/
:*
hey baby, give me a kiss
*kisses virtually*
affiliates
damn,leaving already?
UNA DOM
credits
remove and i'll shoot you with my bazooka \m/
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leen. :)